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Jan 11, 2009 Kevin George rated it really liked it

Tim Allen has always been a fantastic comedian, and Ive always been an ardent fan ever since Home Improvement. ALthough the title seemed seemed a lil odd, I thought Id give a chance anyways.. Tim decribes how his "roaring" male ego came to be, with an amazing shot of humor. If you're a man reading this book will definitely bring back those memories of all the crazy things boys did during the different phases of growing up. If you're a woman, here's your chance to understand why those boys at sch Tim Allen has always been a fantastic comedian, and Ive always been an ardent fan ever since Home Improvement. ALthough the title seemed seemed a lil odd, I thought Id give a chance anyways.. Tim decribes how his "roaring" male ego came to be, with an amazing shot of humor. If you're a man reading this book will definitely bring back those memories of all the crazy things boys did during the different phases of growing up. If you're a woman, here's your chance to understand why those boys at school were always "boys! eww" .. Id recomend it to anyone who has always been amused at how the sexes relate to one other. ...more

I got this book from Goodwill. And I'm glad I did.

I started reading it at the movie theater, waiting for the flick to start. And immediately this is what happened:

I got a lot of looks, like "Is that a real life book she's laughing at? WTF? People still read?"

But anyway, I learned a lot about Tim Allen in this book. There was a lot of Home Improvement/Last Man Standing jokes in here, lots of tool jokes and lots and lots of dick jokes, too. I get the feeling a lot of what we see on television is r

I got this book from Goodwill. And I'm glad I did.

I started reading it at the movie theater, waiting for the flick to start. And immediately this is what happened:

I got a lot of looks, like "Is that a real life book she's laughing at? WTF? People still read?"

But anyway, I learned a lot about Tim Allen in this book. There was a lot of Home Improvement/Last Man Standing jokes in here, lots of tool jokes and lots and lots of dick jokes, too. I get the feeling a lot of what we see on television is really Tim and not him acting.

There was even a Bob Vila chapter. :)

The going was kind of slow, but it was humorous enough to keep me reading. I laughed out loud at several parts. A good, down-to-earth read. Had a lot of good advice and lots of stories about his life growing up.

Definitely worth the read.

...more

Jan 08, 2009 Joy rated it really liked it

This book is hilarious, laugh-out-loud funny! I read it when we were staying at a B&B one summer - couldn't put it down! This book is hilarious, laugh-out-loud funny! I read it when we were staying at a B&B one summer - couldn't put it down! ...more

Uuuhhhh? Tim Allen was a writer? This book was in fact written at the peak of his fame with Home Improvement and The Santa Claus, both of which I am a big fan. The subject matter is mostly about being a man R-R-R-R (this is how he spells his signature call in the book) and our differences to the fairer sex.

This is definitely a product of its day. One can imagine 50% of sales were for Fathers Day presents given the September release date & it just seems designed only for this purpose, offering n

Uuuhhhh? Tim Allen was a writer? This book was in fact written at the peak of his fame with Home Improvement and The Santa Claus, both of which I am a big fan. The subject matter is mostly about being a man R-R-R-R (this is how he spells his signature call in the book) and our differences to the fairer sex.

This is definitely a product of its day. One can imagine 50% of sales were for Fathers Day presents given the September release date & it just seems designed only for this purpose, offering nothing more the idea of a book about men in the 90s with a funny title than any real substance. While I did laugh in parts the subject matter did get fairly repetitive. Stories about Tim's childhood and the revelation his full name is really 'Tim Allen Dick' were good and i'm sure I would've been a hero in primary school if I quoted some of his jokes or was privy to his musing about the penthouse mate poster at his friends house. At the end of the day though finishing the last 75% of this was a chore. Consider: do you just like the idea of this book or are you actually going to read it?

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When I came across this book in the bookstore, I was surprised. I knew Tim Allen from his Home Improvement series and became an instant fan of the grunting and occasionally inapt "do-it-yourself" guru, Tim (the tool man) Taylor. I was mildly surprised that he could write. I was really surprised that he seemed to have actually written a book. That was all the excuse I needed to add Don't Stand too Close to a Naked Man to my growing pile of purchases.
From the first paragraph I could hear, the now When I came across this book in the bookstore, I was surprised. I knew Tim Allen from his Home Improvement series and became an instant fan of the grunting and occasionally inapt "do-it-yourself" guru, Tim (the tool man) Taylor. I was mildly surprised that he could write. I was really surprised that he seemed to have actually written a book. That was all the excuse I needed to add Don't Stand too Close to a Naked Man to my growing pile of purchases.
From the first paragraph I could hear, the now familiar voice of Tim Allen, echoing in my ears. The book started at the logical point; the beginning (so far so good). What's in a name started a trip of bumps and curves with an occasional chuckle. By the fourth chapter (The Eddy Haskell Syndrome) the chuckle increased to laughter as he recalled his childhood and sometimes seemed like he was retelling mine.
The Wonderful World of Guys, Women Are People, Too, Wives Are Women, Too, Men's Zone, More Power, Masculinism, The Secretes Men Never Tell Women and The Family Man form a humorous text/self-help libretto that would see me erupting (occasionally) in a gut-wrenching laugh. The book is a must for men (especially for those who feel misunderstood by their feminine counterpart) and a maybe for women (as it may hit a little too close to home).
Tim Allen has proved (to me) once again that he is a man of many talents and I would rush to the store if I ever hear he has written another book. I gave this book three stars but debated with myself for a long time before reaching this decision. I love Tim Allen's macho sense of humor but realize that I might be in the minority.
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The book Don't Stand too Close to a Naked Man by Tim Allen is pretty funny. The book doesn't really have a plot or a main story line its about guys growing up. A lot of it is funny because its either happened or you hear of it happened to people when they were growing up. Through out the book Tim Allen sounds like the uncle you look up to explaining his childhood, like how he got arrested, being in a band, partying all the time. The book is pretty funny and keeps you interested even though ther
The book Don't Stand too Close to a Naked Man by Tim Allen is pretty funny. The book doesn't really have a plot or a main story line its about guys growing up. A lot of it is funny because its either happened or you hear of it happened to people when they were growing up. Through out the book Tim Allen sounds like the uncle you look up to explaining his childhood, like how he got arrested, being in a band, partying all the time. The book is pretty funny and keeps you interested even though theres not a main plot behind it all.
This book is pretty good and funny. I hate reading and can't ever find anything I can stay interested in but this book was one I could keep reading and not care. The topics are pretty interesting he goes over and the words he uses is pretty funny. Overall if you hate reading and want something that's good and funny this is one to go with.
I would give this book a 4 out of 5. I give it a high rating because it actually didn't bore me while reading it. It was constantly interesting and funny and something to relate to. The only reason why I don't give it a full five out of five is because I don't think all audiences would like it. The people who wouldn't like it would probably be girls because they don't relate to the same thing as other guys. ...more

This book is a short, witty book about things Tim has learned and wants to share about being a man.

I would compare it to one long monologue from one of his stand up routines. Yes, parts of it are indeed funny and there is some interesting levity and honesty around the time he spent in prison and the birth of his daughter. But I found the book a disappointment.

This is a good read if you want a few laughs while you wait your turn at the dentist's office, the arrival of relatives at an airport or w

This book is a short, witty book about things Tim has learned and wants to share about being a man.

I would compare it to one long monologue from one of his stand up routines. Yes, parts of it are indeed funny and there is some interesting levity and honesty around the time he spent in prison and the birth of his daughter. But I found the book a disappointment.

This is a good read if you want a few laughs while you wait your turn at the dentist's office, the arrival of relatives at an airport or whenever your wait has multiple interruptions.

...more

Super hilarious! I had to stifle my laughter on nearly every page (mainly because I wasn't alone when reading and didn't want to disturb others). Everyone out there who loves to laugh should read this book! Super hilarious! I had to stifle my laughter on nearly every page (mainly because I wasn't alone when reading and didn't want to disturb others). Everyone out there who loves to laugh should read this book! ...more

My Goodreads book was Tim Allen: Don't Stand Too Close to a Naked Man. Overall, it was a funny, yet somewhat sensual book. By the way it was written and what was in it, you could definitely tell that Tim Allen was the author. Though it was advertised as an autobiography, the book was more closely attuned with defining who and what men are, what men do, and how men differ from women. He did this by going through events in his life for examples in chronological order. So, Tim Allen's purpose in th My Goodreads book was Tim Allen: Don't Stand Too Close to a Naked Man. Overall, it was a funny, yet somewhat sensual book. By the way it was written and what was in it, you could definitely tell that Tim Allen was the author. Though it was advertised as an autobiography, the book was more closely attuned with defining who and what men are, what men do, and how men differ from women. He did this by going through events in his life for examples in chronological order. So, Tim Allen's purpose in this book was more to discuss men, rather than to tell the story of his life.
Based on that paragraph, I would have to say that the theme is men. Allen goes in depth about what we are, what we think and do, and how we live our lives (men, anyways). The beginning mainly discusses the differences between the genders. Thinking processes, bodily functions, actions, and more are all discussed. He uses examples from his childhood to explain common things that boys go through when dealing with girls. It was admittedly accurate, yet uncomfortable to read. He added humor in almost every area in the book, although much of this humor included swearing, which was everywhere. There was also, to a lesser extent, elements of sexual reference. So, as far as style goes, it is a mix of an autobiography and an educational book, with humor and vulgarities thrown in some places.
Given his language, it can be hard to quote Tim Allen to get a feel for his overall opinion. However, he is good with similes. To sum up a fact (and flaw) in pretty much every guy on earth, he said "Men look at women the way men look at cars. Everyone looks at Ferraris. Now and then we like a pickup truck, and we all end up with station wagons." I agree with the first part. We use our eyes too much. I disagree with the last statement. We can end up with hypothetical "Ferraris," and it happens to a lot of guys.
After discussing men and women, Tim Allen talks about just men; their habits, likes, dislikes, etc. Near the beginning, Tim briefly touches on his childhood. However, when discussing men in the later part of his book, he refers to adults. He discusses cars, tools, hang-outs, and habits. Everything he discusses are things that he personally loves and that most men in general love. I personally did not share many of these interests because I have yet to reach that time in my life.
In conclusion, Tim Allen's book is a funny and potentially helpful book on guys and their personalities, habits, and their differences from and relationships with women. It is a book suited for more mature audiences, for age related purposes and for content. But, it still does offer some good advice for younger people, like me. ...more

Feb 22, 2008 Sarah Sammis rated it really liked it

I wasn't sure what to expect from Don't Stand Too Close to a Naked Man but I was hooked and laughing myself silly half way through the first chapter. The book was written midway through Home Improvement (1991-9) but only mentions the show in passing. The book is mostly a memoir told as a series of stand-up routines.

Allen begins the book by explaining why he's a comedian. He points the finger squarely at his last name (Dick). I had to giggle there not because of the many penis tangents he takes

I wasn't sure what to expect from Don't Stand Too Close to a Naked Man but I was hooked and laughing myself silly half way through the first chapter. The book was written midway through Home Improvement (1991-9) but only mentions the show in passing. The book is mostly a memoir told as a series of stand-up routines.

Allen begins the book by explaining why he's a comedian. He points the finger squarely at his last name (Dick). I had to giggle there not because of the many penis tangents he takes but because I've heard these jokes before. I have a BookCrossing penpal whose last name is Dick and I've heard the same complaints from her that Tim Allen makes in his first chapter. That strange bit of synchronicity was what sold me on the book.

From there Allen goes through childhood as a series of lessons, on through the teen years, his relationships with women, his time in jail (and how being funny was a survival technique) and finally onto his marriage and life as a father (to a daughter).

Don't be confused by Tim Allen's character, Tim Taylor. Although Don't Stand Too Close to a Naked man is packaged as another humorous take on Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, Allen is better read and more philosophical than his Taylor counterpart. For many of stereotypical examples of men versus women he mentions, Allen comes up with a counter example to balance things out. He never goes so far to say all men are this way and all women are that way. Rather he plays out the examples of his own life to their silliest possible conclusions.

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I'd like to preface this by saying my knowledge of Tim Allen begins and ends with Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor, "Last Man Standing", and that he is from Detroit, Michigan. I'd never seen any of his stand up comedy before reading this. Because I wasn't familiar with his stand up, a lot of the jokes he tried to incorporate into his book went over my head and I had to read things a few times to realize he had segued into a joke.

After getting mostly through this book, I did search YouTube for a few cli

I'd like to preface this by saying my knowledge of Tim Allen begins and ends with Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor, "Last Man Standing", and that he is from Detroit, Michigan. I'd never seen any of his stand up comedy before reading this. Because I wasn't familiar with his stand up, a lot of the jokes he tried to incorporate into his book went over my head and I had to read things a few times to realize he had segued into a joke.

After getting mostly through this book, I did search YouTube for a few clips, and it honestly seems like he really only ever had one set as a comedian and most of the jokes from his set made it into this book, so if I had been familiar with his stand up I probably would have been disappointed by this book for it's lack of new content.

All of that being said, I don't think Tim Allen is very funny (oops). Also, jumping around to stories that seem somewhat unrelated may work well for a stand up set, but it falls flat in a book and made things severely lacking in flow and continuity.

However, the last chapter, the one that mostly talks about being a dad to his daughter was really touching.

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Jul 06, 2009 Jamie rated it liked it

Recommends it for: any woman wanting to understand why men do what they do

Recommended to Jamie by: my sister

Got this as a Christmas present from my sister, and within the month, I lent it back to her, my mother, and my other sisters.

This was a fun little book, based on the comedy routines of Tim Allen, but also laced with some autobiographical material on the man. It's refreshing to men who will read it and think, "I do that too!", while also being readable and enlightening to women who will say, "*THAT'S* why they do that?!?"

Fun, quick read that is far superior to the follow-up I'm Not Really Here. (

Got this as a Christmas present from my sister, and within the month, I lent it back to her, my mother, and my other sisters.

This was a fun little book, based on the comedy routines of Tim Allen, but also laced with some autobiographical material on the man. It's refreshing to men who will read it and think, "I do that too!", while also being readable and enlightening to women who will say, "*THAT'S* why they do that?!?"

Fun, quick read that is far superior to the follow-up I'm Not Really Here. (Better follow-up books would be Paul Reiser's Couplehood and Babyhood.)

...more

i love tim allen. i laughed out loud throughout this book. although he is speaking from a male point of view, i found that he was spot-on about a lot of things in life. ALTHOUGH...the guy clearly has issues with women. he complains through the entire book about how women step all over men and "it's not fair!!!" wahh. kinda obnoxious. he also can't say a nice thing about his wife (except for maybe 2 sentences of the standard.."no, really.. i love my wife. guilt ridden section) which shouldn't sur i love tim allen. i laughed out loud throughout this book. although he is speaking from a male point of view, i found that he was spot-on about a lot of things in life. ALTHOUGH...the guy clearly has issues with women. he complains through the entire book about how women step all over men and "it's not fair!!!" wahh. kinda obnoxious. he also can't say a nice thing about his wife (except for maybe 2 sentences of the standard.."no, really.. i love my wife. guilt ridden section) which shouldn't surprise you to know, since he divorced her and is now married to a 30 something year old and has a new baby! it is a really easy read, but i was surprised to find that he has a penchant for talking about things in almost a "scientific" way. i think he would have gone into engineering or NASA had he not become a comedian. i hope he's worked out his anger issues with women by now, since this was written a while back.... i actually think he's jealous because he's NOT a woman ;) ...more

Well, that was a pretty disappointing read.

I don't know why it was disappointing, though. Even though Tim Allen was funny on TV and in movies, and despite having a successful comedy/standup career, it doesn't automatically mean that he'd be a good writer. A fun writer, yes, but not necessarily any good.

Although the premise of the book, and the theme it self is amusing, and there are spots around the book that made me laugh really hard (some very funny standup kinda one-liners), the book it self

Well, that was a pretty disappointing read.

I don't know why it was disappointing, though. Even though Tim Allen was funny on TV and in movies, and despite having a successful comedy/standup career, it doesn't automatically mean that he'd be a good writer. A fun writer, yes, but not necessarily any good.

Although the premise of the book, and the theme it self is amusing, and there are spots around the book that made me laugh really hard (some very funny standup kinda one-liners), the book it self was pretty bland.

It rambles on aimlessly, wading from one subject to another in a very disjointed fashion. I think the whole book might have worked better as a series of blog posts, or something similar. Things that don't necessarily require a beginning or an end, or a central theme.

Overall the book was OK, and if you have it and want to read it then go ahead, but I wouldn't waste my money on it. Sorry Tim.

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Mar 14, 2009 Waven rated it liked it

I loved this book as a teenager. It's a very easy read and manages a sort of nostalgic appeal, but it also has a lot of fluff. Since it isn't meant to be taken too seriously, it would make a great beach read or in-flight quickie. I laughed out loud a handful of times and often found myself smiling; and the last fifty pages or so really picked up. They are easily the best of the book, though the short piece on his father is also quite touching. His descriptions of childhood and jail are also funn I loved this book as a teenager. It's a very easy read and manages a sort of nostalgic appeal, but it also has a lot of fluff. Since it isn't meant to be taken too seriously, it would make a great beach read or in-flight quickie. I laughed out loud a handful of times and often found myself smiling; and the last fifty pages or so really picked up. They are easily the best of the book, though the short piece on his father is also quite touching. His descriptions of childhood and jail are also funny, insightful, with peeks at his more serious side. But mostly this book is meant to be a good time, a bit of fun, and it is. I think this would be a great book for teens (especially 15 and over; there are some off-color jokes, crude humor, and sexual references) or anyone looking for some easy, light-heartedness. ...more

Jun 14, 2010 Amanda rated it it was amazing

This book was awesome! Every woman should read it. This book delves deep into the male psyche. Ever want to know just why your husband will not put the toilet seat down? Allen is a no holds barred type of guy. He will tell you what he wants and not sugar coat a damn thing. That is exactly what 'Don't Stand Too Close to a Naked Man' is. He is unapologetic in how he is, what he is. He is a man. Point blank. He makes no excuses. He tells of his first chubby. His first real honest to god crush, who This book was awesome! Every woman should read it. This book delves deep into the male psyche. Ever want to know just why your husband will not put the toilet seat down? Allen is a no holds barred type of guy. He will tell you what he wants and not sugar coat a damn thing. That is exactly what 'Don't Stand Too Close to a Naked Man' is. He is unapologetic in how he is, what he is. He is a man. Point blank. He makes no excuses. He tells of his first chubby. His first real honest to god crush, who happened to give him his first chubby! He is a funny funny guy and like me, you will laugh out loud in many places in this book. It is a fast and easy read.Ever wonder just why your husband will not put the toilet seat down? Find out the answer to that question, plus many, many more in "Don't Stand Too Close to a Naked Man" So tuck in and enjoy! ...more

At first, I didn't like his writing voice. It didn't flow too well; but it grew on me. You start to really get who Tim is and this is how he thinks and talks. It got a bit funny halfway through, but nothing laugh out loud and gasp for air funny... which I'm use to from comedian writers.

For the most part, his book lets you inside the mind of men and what his idea of what women are like. He'll openly admit, and there's sarcasm throughout, that he and no one, really seems to understand women, but h

At first, I didn't like his writing voice. It didn't flow too well; but it grew on me. You start to really get who Tim is and this is how he thinks and talks. It got a bit funny halfway through, but nothing laugh out loud and gasp for air funny... which I'm use to from comedian writers.

For the most part, his book lets you inside the mind of men and what his idea of what women are like. He'll openly admit, and there's sarcasm throughout, that he and no one, really seems to understand women, but he tried, like anyone would. At some point, I'm reading it and thinking, 'dang, this sounds a lot like my husband!' Ha. ha. ha.

I thought it would cover more topics than it did, but nearly the first half covers his discovering his sexuality growing up. Because, you know, you're a boy, you have a penis, it gets big and you don't know why, but you eventually figure out why, etc. etc. etc.

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I read 'I'm Not Really Here' years ago and have reread it a couple of times, but I'm not sure if it's only in my memories that it's good, or if this one is just so much worse. I literally threw it away after two chapters, because it was too painful to read.

Even though I understand that the parts are basically stand-up routines, I'd really appreciate some cohesion within the chapters. And even though comedy often lives off of stereotypes (and I can laugh about them), I did find his generalisatio

I read 'I'm Not Really Here' years ago and have reread it a couple of times, but I'm not sure if it's only in my memories that it's good, or if this one is just so much worse. I literally threw it away after two chapters, because it was too painful to read.

Even though I understand that the parts are basically stand-up routines, I'd really appreciate some cohesion within the chapters. And even though comedy often lives off of stereotypes (and I can laugh about them), I did find his generalisations terribly annyoing. Or maybe it's simply the generation gap. I don't find stories about growing up in America in the 60s and 70s in any way interesting, so all his anecdotes just didn't resonate.

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I bought this way back when Home Improvement was still a prime-time offering and remember not being particularly impressed at the time. Re-reading it now, that estimation becomes "completely unimpressed". I know that Allen specialises in blokey humour, focussing upon Neanderthal-esque men in particular, but this feels just like an unfunny collection of generalisations. Trust me - if all men were like Allen says they are, there would be a lot more lesbians in the world ;) Unfortunately, it gets w I bought this way back when Home Improvement was still a prime-time offering and remember not being particularly impressed at the time. Re-reading it now, that estimation becomes "completely unimpressed". I know that Allen specialises in blokey humour, focussing upon Neanderthal-esque men in particular, but this feels just like an unfunny collection of generalisations. Trust me - if all men were like Allen says they are, there would be a lot more lesbians in the world ;) Unfortunately, it gets worse when Allen decides to share his ideas about what all women are like. Needless to say, I don't fall into his narrow little ideal.

The small chapter about his daughter is sweet but, overall, I am far too much of a feminist for this book.

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Last year I read Allen's, 'I'm Not Really Here'. It was a rollicking good time and I expected as much from 'Naked Man', but was a little disappointed.

This is all about men and how differently we act from women, but though it had funny spots well worth sharing, it rarely rose above the level of fart jokes.

I would highly recommend the first, but 'Naked Man' is a call you'll have to make. I'd suggest indulging in a pitcher of beer and salty snacks as you wade into it. Short quips make it an easy, c

Last year I read Allen's, 'I'm Not Really Here'. It was a rollicking good time and I expected as much from 'Naked Man', but was a little disappointed.

This is all about men and how differently we act from women, but though it had funny spots well worth sharing, it rarely rose above the level of fart jokes.

I would highly recommend the first, but 'Naked Man' is a call you'll have to make. I'd suggest indulging in a pitcher of beer and salty snacks as you wade into it. Short quips make it an easy, comfortable read.

Let me point out that I respect Tim Allen and enjoy him on the small and big screen. He is a very funny guy and some of that comes through here. Worth reading? Sure, but not up to par with 'I'm Not Really Here'.

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Apr 04, 2008 Maurean rated it it was ok

I went through school with Tim's wife, Jane, and I just LUVED him in "Home Improvement", so I thought I'd give his book a read.

So, you would think that now, after having read "Dirty Jokes & Beer" by Drew Carey, and making my way through Paul Reiser's "Couplehood", that I would have realized for myself that just because I luv them in their 30 minute sit-com television appearances (and I *DO*…DID...all of them!), that this doesn't necessarily translate into an uproarious romp on paper. Don't get m

I went through school with Tim's wife, Jane, and I just LUVED him in "Home Improvement", so I thought I'd give his book a read.

So, you would think that now, after having read "Dirty Jokes & Beer" by Drew Carey, and making my way through Paul Reiser's "Couplehood", that I would have realized for myself that just because I luv them in their 30 minute sit-com television appearances (and I *DO*…DID...all of them!), that this doesn't necessarily translate into an uproarious romp on paper. Don't get me wrong, Tim was good for a few chuckles here and there, and his 'take' on men is hilarious, but I think I prefer to SEE his comedy, rather than to READ it

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I was watching the E! True Hollywood Story on Home Improvement the other day, and they mentioned Tim Allen had written an autobiography. Since I have some strange obsession with celebrity books, I was naturally intrigued, and went and checked it out immediately.

Unfortunately, it was just Tim talking about how guys are horny and woman don't understand. I read all the way to page 60, and then started skipping ahead wondering if it got better. I read one other chapter all the way through, but then

I was watching the E! True Hollywood Story on Home Improvement the other day, and they mentioned Tim Allen had written an autobiography. Since I have some strange obsession with celebrity books, I was naturally intrigued, and went and checked it out immediately.

Unfortunately, it was just Tim talking about how guys are horny and woman don't understand. I read all the way to page 60, and then started skipping ahead wondering if it got better. I read one other chapter all the way through, but then I called it quits.

I can see where others would like this book, but it's not what I wanted to read.

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Mar 14, 2013 Mick rated it it was ok

Tim Allen puts his stand-up comedy routines in a book. If you have ever seen Allen doing his comedy live, stick with it. I'm sure it is extremely hilarious, now you won't have to read the book.

Here is a quote, "I'm occasionally asked by complete strangers what a man should look for in a gal. The answer is easy: breath. She should be alive. Right away you'll be ahead of the game, and once you have established the presence of her vital signs, you can take your time looking deeper into the abyss.

Tim Allen puts his stand-up comedy routines in a book. If you have ever seen Allen doing his comedy live, stick with it. I'm sure it is extremely hilarious, now you won't have to read the book.

Here is a quote, "I'm occasionally asked by complete strangers what a man should look for in a gal. The answer is easy: breath. She should be alive. Right away you'll be ahead of the game, and once you have established the presence of her vital signs, you can take your time looking deeper into the abyss. Trust me it's an abyss."

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Apr 18, 2010 Greg rated it it was ok

This book isn't that great. Tim Allen is alright and I like some of his movies (Okay, I LOVE For Richer or Poorer. I am not ashamed) so I picked this up for 50 cents at a flea market, but I don't care enough about him to make this book interesting. It falls into that boring rut of explaining why guys are the way they are. It also felt a little disingenuous, because he mentions being in jail, but doesn't explain why he was there (He got caught trafficking a bunch of cocaine). This book isn't that great. Tim Allen is alright and I like some of his movies (Okay, I LOVE For Richer or Poorer. I am not ashamed) so I picked this up for 50 cents at a flea market, but I don't care enough about him to make this book interesting. It falls into that boring rut of explaining why guys are the way they are. It also felt a little disingenuous, because he mentions being in jail, but doesn't explain why he was there (He got caught trafficking a bunch of cocaine). ...more

Aug 22, 2012 Robin rated it liked it

This is a book more for a man but Tim has some insightful moments:

Women really like it when you're a man, though. It's tough to have a woman go for you if you don't show some generalized masculine traits. Assertiveness, decision making, protectiveness, nurturing. A man has to give a woman the impression that he might stand up for her. "Might" is the operative word. Women are very big on the idea of hope.

This is a book more for a man but Tim has some insightful moments:

Women really like it when you're a man, though. It's tough to have a woman go for you if you don't show some generalized masculine traits. Assertiveness, decision making, protectiveness, nurturing. A man has to give a woman the impression that he might stand up for her. "Might" is the operative word. Women are very big on the idea of hope.

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I know, right?! This came out a long time ago and I bought it when it was first published. I have read it a few times and love it every time. One of the few books I've read more than once. It's just hilarious in true Tim Allen form. It's just about life in general and told with such wit and humor. It's a great distraction if you're feeling a need to just remember how fun it is to laugh and enjoy funny stories. I know, right?! This came out a long time ago and I bought it when it was first published. I have read it a few times and love it every time. One of the few books I've read more than once. It's just hilarious in true Tim Allen form. It's just about life in general and told with such wit and humor. It's a great distraction if you're feeling a need to just remember how fun it is to laugh and enjoy funny stories. ...more

May 18, 2014 Pontiki rated it it was ok

I like Tim Allen, but this book is a bit too simple, and relies too much on male and female stereotypes. My biggest complaint with autobiographies by comedians is that they don't talk much about their lives, but rather write their jokes in book form. I'd rather hear more about Tim's trouble with drugs and how he overcame it. It's not funny, but it's real, which is what I hope for on a non-fiction book. I like Tim Allen, but this book is a bit too simple, and relies too much on male and female stereotypes. My biggest complaint with autobiographies by comedians is that they don't talk much about their lives, but rather write their jokes in book form. I'd rather hear more about Tim's trouble with drugs and how he overcame it. It's not funny, but it's real, which is what I hope for on a non-fiction book. ...more

Jan 23, 2008 Andrew rated it did not like it

this book was abysmal. i think Tim Allen is a great actor... but this book was not good. There were some humorous stories in it, but as a whole, it was horrible and very difficult for me to make it through the whole book (took a lot of effort... and this book is little and supposed to be "light" reading) this book was abysmal. i think Tim Allen is a great actor... but this book was not good. There were some humorous stories in it, but as a whole, it was horrible and very difficult for me to make it through the whole book (took a lot of effort... and this book is little and supposed to be "light" reading) ...more

Jun 29, 2011 Kristen rated it liked it

Even though "Don't Stand" was written in 1995, it really holds up. It was funny and entertaining, and a really quick read.

It did get a little repetitive in parts, but I'll probably seek out his other books. Since this book was right before "Santa Clause" came out, I would like to read about his life after the movie, and the movies since then. I'll probably pick up his other books.

Even though "Don't Stand" was written in 1995, it really holds up. It was funny and entertaining, and a really quick read.

It did get a little repetitive in parts, but I'll probably seek out his other books. Since this book was right before "Santa Clause" came out, I would like to read about his life after the movie, and the movies since then. I'll probably pick up his other books.

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Great Book - Very funny! Tim Allen Dick (His real name) Talks about his life before fame in his autobiographical book. He takes serious subjects like his life in prison and childhood and finds the humor in everything. A true story of overcoming his past to redefine his life and achieve the American dream against the odds.

Timothy Allen Dick was born on June 13, 1953, in Denver, Colorado, USA, to Martha Katherine (Fox) and Gerald M. Dick. His father, a real-estate salesman, was killed in a collision with a drunk driver while driving his family home from a University of Colorado football game, when Tim was eleven years old. His mother, a community-service worker, remarried her high-school sweetheart, an Episcopalian Timothy Allen Dick was born on June 13, 1953, in Denver, Colorado, USA, to Martha Katherine (Fox) and Gerald M. Dick. His father, a real-estate salesman, was killed in a collision with a drunk driver while driving his family home from a University of Colorado football game, when Tim was eleven years old. His mother, a community-service worker, remarried her high-school sweetheart, an Episcopalian deacon, two years after Tim's father's death. Tim has a total of eight siblings. His ancestry includes English, German, Irish, and Scottish.

When Tim was young, his family moved to Birmingham, Michigan. In high school, his favorite subject was shop, of course, and after high school, he attended Western Michigan University and graduated with a degree in Television Production in 1975. In 1978, he was arrested on drug charges and spent two years in jail. Upon his release, he had a new outlook on life and on a dare from a friend, started his comedy career at the Comedy Castle in Detroit. Later, he went on to do several cable specials, including, Comedy's Dirtiest Dozen (1988) and Tim Allen: Men Are Pigs (1990). In 1991, he became the star of his own hit television series on ABC called Home Improvement (1991). While continuing to film his television series throughout most of the 1990s, he starred in a string of blockbuster movies including The Santa Clause (1994), Toy Story (1995), Toy Story 2 (1999) and Galaxy Quest (1999). In August 1996, he developed and unveiled his own signature line of power tools, manufactured by Ryobi. On top of all that, he has his own racing team, Tim Allen/Saleen RRRRacing. In May 1999, he ended his series Home Improvement (1991) after eight seasons and in 2001, he filmed such movies as Big Trouble (2002) and Joe Somebody (2001).

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